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<title>Missing Scene (S1E10): Benji Breaks Up with Derek by all_the_ships_are_sailing</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28762608">Missing Scene (S1E10): Benji Breaks Up with Derek</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/all_the_ships_are_sailing/pseuds/all_the_ships_are_sailing'>all_the_ships_are_sailing</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Love Victor (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Benji POV, Canon Compliant, M/M, Missing Scene, breaking up, declaring feelings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 05:08:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,851</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28762608</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/all_the_ships_are_sailing/pseuds/all_the_ships_are_sailing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A missing scene from episode 1x10 of Benji breaking up with Derek.</p><p>I really hope the writers put this scene in S2 as a flashback or something, but in the meantime here's my interpretation from Benji's POV.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Benjamin "Benji" Campbell/Victor Salazar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Missing Scene (S1E10): Benji Breaks Up with Derek</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pilar walks away and Derek turns to me. “Benji, didn’t you and Victor go on a work trip together?”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, yeah. So?” <em>How did she find out? What is about to happen?</em></p><p> </p><p>“Benji, what’s going on?”</p><p> </p><p>I swallow. <em>Why is this happening? Why? I was trying to avoid this conversation. </em>We walk away from the table, closer to the door. He’s arguing with me. I don’t have an option, but to tell him at this point.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, Derek is trying to run away. He walks into the hallway and I follow him.</p><p> </p><p>“Derek, it wasn’t like that. It wasn’t like that!” I keep trying to tell him.</p><p> </p><p>“If it wasn’t like that, then why didn’t you tell me?” he demands.</p><p> </p><p>I don’t even notice anyone else is in the hallway until I hear Andrew Spencer’s voice. Derek must hear it, too, because we both turn. “Something tells me this is about you, so, good luck, Salazar.” <em>How does Andrew know?</em> He brushes past me and walks back toward the dance, leaving Victor staring at us.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey guys,” Victor says.</p><p> </p><p>Derek starts storming toward the door. “Save it, okay? I’m done. I’m out of here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wait, wait, wait,” I say, rushing after him.</p><p> </p><p>Victor holds up his hands and stops Derek. “It wasn’t his fault.” Derek stops and looks at me for a second. “I kissed him. And then he stopped it. He stopped it, and then he switched coffee shops to get away from me, because he didn’t wanna mess up your guys’s relationship.” Derek gives me a brief exasperated look. Victor is still staring at him. “That’s how much he cares about you, Derek. So please don’t blame Benji for my stupid mistake.” My eyes meet Victor’s and I bite my lip. “He’s too good a guy to walk away from.” His eyes don’t move. I glance at Derek. “He’s thoughtful and sweet,” he pauses before adding, “and patient.” He almost chuckles and I can’t help the little smile that plays at the corners of my mouth. “My point is,” Victor continues, turning back to Derek, “Benji is the best. And you guys are awesome together.” Derek turns back to me and I look at him out of the corners of my eyes for a second before we both turn back to Victor. I stare at his shoes, because I can’t look at his face anymore; it hurts too much. “So please don’t let me and my stupid kiss mess it up.” Victor swallows and makes his uncomfortable face for a second, before glancing back at Derek. “I promise to stay out of your way,” he says. Then he meets my eyes again. “Starting now.” He turns and walks down the hall, left hand in his pocket. I’m watching him because I can’t not.</p><p> </p><p>Derek turns back to me and I swear it looks like he might cry, but I can’t focus on that right now. “Look, Benji, he’s right,” Derek says quietly.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” I say, shaking my head and looking at him after Victor rounds the corner toward the side exit of the school.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s right. It wasn’t your fault and…” he says, trying to smile. He swallows. “You <em>are</em> too good a guy to walk away from.” I bite my lip. “So, uh, I’m really sorry about ruining your night,” he says awkwardly. “Do you want to go back to the dance?” He asks, offering me his hand and gesturing back the way we came from.</p><p> </p><p>I shake my head. “No.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” he says, tilting his head. “Are you sure?”</p><p> </p><p>I nod. “Yes.” I swallow. “We need to talk.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh,” he looks at me and finally drops his hand. “Okay?” I don’t say anything. I’m still trying to formulate the words to do what I should have done months ago. “Uh, do you want to go to the car?”</p><p> </p><p>“No.” I say, shaking my head. “We can talk here.”</p><p> </p><p>He tilts his head again. “What’s going on? I said he’s right. I said I’m sorry. What do you want from me?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing,” I say shaking my head. “He was right, except for one part…actually two, but one of them isn’t as important.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“It wasn’t technically my fault. He <em>did</em> kiss me, but…” I take a deep breath. “I kissed him back. Only for a second, until my brain caught up. Then I stopped it, but… I didn’t… I didn’t want to.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you seriously about to break up with me to go chase after some 16-year-old kid that’s still in the closet right now?”</p><p> </p><p><em>Yes</em>. I close my eyes and drop my head. “Derek, there’s been something off about us for a while now. You never want to do the things I do. I have to bargain and plead to get you to do anything with me. Take tonight for example.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not in high school anymore. It’s weird for me to be at a high school dance, Benji… that doesn’t mean we’re…”</p><p> </p><p>I shake my head. “Can I finish?” I chance a glance at him and he nods once. “Our anniversary for another example.” He opens his mouth. “I’m not done,” I warn him and he nods again. “You make me anxious all the time. I feel like I have to pretend to be something I’m not around you. I… I’ve been scared to let go because you know so many things about me that no one else knows, or no one else knew.”</p><p> </p><p>“Did you tell him about that?” he asks, incredulously.</p><p> </p><p>I nod. “I did.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why?”</p><p> </p><p>I shrug. “He’s…he’s really easy to talk to,” I say. “And he doesn’t make me anxious. And he thinks I’m good enough exactly as I am. And yeah, maybe he’s not out yet, but…”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re serious, aren’t you?”</p><p> </p><p>I take a deep breath and nod. “I am. And I’m really sorry that I’m doing this right now, but when he said all those things I just…”</p><p> </p><p>“Wait, if lie number one was that you didn’t immediately stop it. What was lie number two?” He asks.</p><p> </p><p>“Not a lie. A misinterpretation. We are <em>not</em> ‘awesome together’, Derek. We haven’t been for a long time.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m gonna leave now. I’ll drop your stuff off on your porch tomorrow,” he says and then turns to leave. This time I don’t follow him. He only goes a few yards before turning around again. “So, that’s it, huh?” I don’t know how to answer that. “You’re just throwing away an entire year for some closeted kid?”</p><p> </p><p>I close my eyes and rub my thumb and forefinger across them for a second. “I’m not throwing anything away, Derek,” I say finally. “I need to go find Victor before he leaves.” I don’t wait for his response as I take off in the direction Victor walked.</p><p> </p><p>When I finally get outside, I turn in circles for a second until I spot Victor sitting on a bench. I exhale a sigh of relief and walk toward him. He looks up when I get close. “Hey,” I say quietly.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” he responds. He seems confused by presence, but I sit down next to him without saying anything else. He’s staring at the ground. I can’t look at him.</p><p> </p><p>“We broke up.”</p><p> </p><p>He glances at me and then stares at the ground again. I watch him. “Benji, I, I’m so sorry.” He looks at me again. “I, I never meant for any of this –“</p><p> </p><p>I should have been clearer. “No, no,” I say quickly. “I broke up with him.”</p><p> </p><p>I watch him as he looks away, clearly confused. “Why?”</p><p> </p><p>I look him over for a second and then resituate myself to face him more completely. “Something’s been off with us for a while.” Victor looks back to me, so I keep going. “He makes me feel bad a lot of the time. About the stuff I like to do. About being a romantic. I wanna be with someone who doesn’t make me feel anxious all the time. You know, someone who makes me feel like I can just be myself, and that’s enough.” He nods, but I don’t think he understands what I’m saying. I look to the ground for a second, gathering every ounce of courage I can find. “That’s how you make me feel, Victor.”</p><p> </p><p>He gets an adorably huge smile on his face and looks at his own feet for a second and my heart is melting. He breaths out in a laugh and then falls silent for a few seconds before he looks back up at me. “That’s… that’s how you make me feel, too.”</p><p> </p><p>There’s a second where we’re both kind of just looking at each other’s lips and then our lips are together. His right hand wraps around to my back and my left hand is on his side. My right hand is on the back of his neck and we’re kissing. He grabs my wrist with his left hand and then we break apart. He exhales a chuckle and breaths, “Wow.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” I agree. The smile on his face makes me feel like I’m floating on air. I want to kiss him again, but there’s more to this story. We both look down and fall apart. His right arm and my left arm still crossed to each other. “What about Mia?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m gonna tell her the truth tomorrow. I, I promise.”</p><p> </p><p>“Victor, I want this as much as you do. But I’ve been out for a while now, and you…” We’re staring into each other’s eyes and it takes everything in me to not just kiss him and forget all the problems we’re creating. “I mean, have you even said the words out loud yet?” He looks down. “I’m gay.”</p><p> </p><p>He looks back to me. “I’m going to.” I think he can tell I don’t trust him. “I am.” I want to believe him. He shakes his head slightly. “I’m ready.” He’s giving me a look I can’t explain.</p><p> </p><p>I’m smiling too much for my own good. “Okay,” I say. “I believe you.”</p><p> </p><p>He exhales a little laugh and then we’re kissing again. My hand going back to his neck and both of his hands on my back. We break apart after a minute and rest our foreheads together.</p><p> </p><p>“I should get back in there,” he says, biting his lip.</p><p> </p><p>I sigh. “Yeah.” I nod and look at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Um… I’ll call you tomorrow?” he says as our hands start to drop away.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay,” I say. He’s biting his lip and then he runs his right hand through my hair, before letting it rest on my shoulder for a second. He pushes off my shoulder to stand up and I can’t help but watch him. I also can’t help the smile that appears on my face. He walks back toward the school and then glances over his shoulder at me when he’s halfway there, still biting his lip. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this happy. He stops at the bottom of the stairs and looks back again with a sighing chuckle and then he disappears back inside.</p>
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